I am emotional wreck! I felt like my throat not only filled with cotton balls, but it seemed like at least 3000 acres cotton land invaded my entire body! Eyes are red-rimmed, nose is like tomato juice ( bloody red and runny) and my cruel heart is broken into pieces!
Dear Lia Louis, what have you done to me? I loved this story so much and I wish it could be adapted into screen. I can already visualize the billboards at the streets chanting for “Team Lucas” or “Team Eliot”! This is one of the best second changes, facing with your past to reborn from your ashes and searching for happiness book!
There are so many great Brat Pack movies vibes (from “Say Anything” to “Sixteen Candles”), weird movie references mashes with brave #metoo movement representation.

This book is sweet, swoony and cute but it also moving, heart wrenching, soul-crushing, tear jerking. Normally I hate love triangles and characters’ indecisiveness about their own feelings, that’s why this book starts like a three stars –I didn’t love it but I didn’t hate it, too- story for me but as I start moving back and forth between past and present, seeing those beautiful messages at the mixed tapes, slow burn romantic moments, past regrets, future’s stumbling, present’s struggles, the characters’ flaws, their heartfelt story start growing on me! I couldn’t put it down and I let myself get lost in their beautiful, complex relationship.
Emmie looks for a real family, neglected by her mother throughout her teenage years, abandoned by her father, outcast of her school, being judged by her friends for something she didn’t do. She really needs someone stand by her and hold her hand as a confidante, a real, honest friend. And she is only 16. It is not fair to be in some much pain in those ages, forced to face the shitty hand life had dealt you. So Emmie Blue releases a balloon with her email address and her big secret into the sky and Lucas finds her balloon. That’s the part their 14 years long friendship started.
Now Emmie thinks she’s head over heels in love with Lucas and he meets with her to ask one of his most important questions of his life. But no: he didn’t ask to be his wife, he asks her to be his best man and Emmie accepts it. Whattttt!!! Yes, this is big mistake and I want to kidnap Emmie to prevent her obvious heartbreak and suffer!
You may think this is angsty, edgy and irritatingly torturous story and you ask yourself why Emmie accepts his offer (that was the moment I thought I should have given three stars ) but don’t you dare to stop reading till meeting with Lucas’ half-brother Eliot, always protective, kind, but also witty, sarcastic with amazing taste in music.
Emmie has always complex feelings about Eliot and she still resents him what he’s done when she was 19! But nothing as it seems! Emmie should change the way to look at you’re her life because sometimes people may be blind enough to see things in front of them.
Emmie slowly understands she is not lonely. She is loved and she is cared deeply and now it’s time to get her head out of her ass (I think this book could be named like this, because most of the characters are acting like blind, especially at some parts I wanted to scream at Emmie to open her eyes because some clues were so obvious and she was so stubborn to believe in wrong things about herself and people who deeply cared for her.)
And I adored the supporting characters, especially Rosie Kalwar needs her own book, her witty comments, carefree, artistic, genuine attitude and her honest sense of humor made me laugh and love her more. And let’s not forget the sweetpie Louise.
There are two heroes and it is obvious who I’m rooting for! Especially chapter 41 made me cry out loud! I’m not giving you the spoilers but that character I rooted for passed the best book-boyfriend exam with flying colors!
And ending was also sweet, emotional, inspiring, promising.
Overall: I’m still cutting off half star because of the characters’ obnoxious actions but this book already stole my heart so let’s round up 4.5 stars to 5 and keep smiling for the heart melting story the author created for us!
Special thanks to NetGalley and double special thanks to Atria Books/Emily Bestler Books (because I got both digital and hardcover copies) for sharing this amazing ARC with me in exchange my honest review. It melt my heart and healed my soul!